Pitch of my Film & Peer Feedback of pitch - Component 1

This is a very basic mindmap of the ideas I had for my film.

Synopsis

A man is showering with his clothes on. He thinks about a time when he met a girl and started a relationship with her, but then he stops thinking about this moment once he turns off the shower. He then freshens up and gets ready for something. He leaves the toilet and enters the living room. Abruptly, he starts dancing with a girl, and it is revealed that the girl dancing with him is the same girl from his thoughts. Then, as he moves his face away from the girl, his face is covered in blood, but it is not his own. The blood is from the girl. The man is dancing with a dead body.  

Overview

Abstract opening – showering after murder, fully clothed mixed with flashback, and a scene of protagonist dancing with his dead victim.

 

Suggested influence

Joker – psychological thriller

Frenzy – lady killer ‘you’re my type of woman’

Shutter Island (2010)

You (2018-)

 

Suggestions that I mentioned

Different colour grading for the flashbacks

 

Strengths

Strong visual ideas

Abstract idea will create plenty of mystery for the viewer

 

To figure out (Questions from peers)

QUESTION: Are you trying to have too much narrative with the flashbacks – trying to show regret, motivation and the result of the killing?

ANSWER: I aim to show that the man’s perception of him meeting the girl is false to the actual reality of the situation, and he does not accurately comprehend his own wrongdoings of murder, presenting him as mentally ill. His motivation to kill the girl is because he desires a romantic relationship, and he feels no remorse, rather ecstatic that in the end, he got what he wanted.

QUESTION: How do you show that they are dancing with a corpse – will it have the right effect; how to incorporate credits?

ANSWER: To convey that he is dancing with a girl who is not alive, I shall have the actress stay in a state of limpness and be covered in blood. This will effectively reinforce the presentation of my character being dangerous to emphasise the audiences’ fear and anxiety.

I will incorporate part of my credits in the start of the film, during the first shower scene, and continue them in the end of my film, after it is revealed that the girl is dead.